Tag Archives: humility

Fight Self-Destructive Bitterness: Know What’s to Love About Mercy

Compassionate Love: Displaying compassion for those who struggle with mental illness   (c) 2017 Nancy Virden, Always The Fight Ministries

An ex remarries.  An adult child refuses to visit.  Friends withdraw when you struggle with a chronic illness.  Someone hurts your body.  You are treated like a nobody at work.  No one believes your story.  On and on the possibilities for bitterness go. 

“Love mercy” is one of the tenets of right living mentioned in the Bible.  Sure, it feels good to forgive someone and to move on, but love mercy? I would rather love being the better person in a situation.  Although it is easy to see how much mercy people and God have extended to me,  somehow  humility is not the automatic go-to in the face of maltreatment or perceived betrayal.  

Love mercy? When I love something or someone,  that emotion is noticed in the moment.  I don’t have to conjure up good feelings later.  I pursue what I love, search for it, and am happiest when the object of that love is near.  

Mercy Heals Us Emotionally

I need more to go on than mercy is a good idea.  The following is a list of mercy’s characteristics I admire and can choose to proactively love with all my heart.

  1. It is beautiful watching other people succeed. Whether a child matures or a thief turns generous, we like happy endings. We cheer on fighters who overcome. Extending mercy is a powerful way to affect someone for the better.  Watching that is cool.
  2. Mercy brings healthy humility, which in turn heals the merciful person.  It exchanges the need for revenge and becomes gratitude. Humility recognizes that imperfections make us all human. I may not like the way someone treats me, but humility asks, have I treated anyone this way?  Mercy’s attitude is pleasant to feel. 
  3. Mercy is a picture of God in the world. Soulless and evil are terms we use to describe those who take advantage of others without a conscience. Mercy is proof that evil does not rule the earth. We are not helpless when we choose mercy.  Mercy is uniquely capable of overcoming evil.   

Love mercy? More I think about it, the more attractive it becomes.  Its loveliness is worth pursuing. If I want to see it in action, it will have to come from me. 

Today’s Helpful Word

Micah 6:8

No, O people, the Lord has told you what is good, and this is what he requires of you: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.

*********COMMENTS ARE ALWAYS WELCOME.

NOTE:  I am not a doctor or mental health professional. I speak only from personal experiences with and observations of mental illness. In no way is this website intended to substitute for professional mental health care.

If you are struggling emotionally today or feeling suicidal, or concerned about someone who is, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Hope and help is yours.

“I’ll Pray for You” Can Be a Weapon in the Hands of Control-Freaks

Compassionate Love: Displaying compassion for those who struggle with mental illness    (c)2015 Nancy Virden

photo-24790069-two-upset-womenControl-freak. It’s a less offensive way of saying rude, obnoxious, power-hungry, micro-managing, nosy, selfish, obstinate, disrespectful, unmerciful, and thoughtless.  

We’ve all met them –  the man or woman who always has some judgment to make whether pleasant or not-so-pleasant. Even billowy praises are meant to hold you to their standards.

Each time you see them they comment about you, your work, your lifestyle, your home, your friends, your character, or your decisions. For example, one day “Oh, you look nice!” and the next “You wore that?” Little goes unnoticed.

It’s a constant dripping of approval and disapproval.

Unfortunately, control-freaks attend churches, assume leadership, and do much damage to the body of Christ. From attendance-takers to treasurers, I’ve seen control-freaks make life miserable for everyone else.

“I’ll pray for you” can be said in a tone of approval or disapproval. Picture hands on hips, head cocked sideways, a barely disguised condescension in the voice, “Oh, I’ll pray for you!

It’s as if the offer itself is an attempt at influencing one’s behavior. Sometimes “I’ll pray for you” is simply a dismissal because prayer is not on the agenda of the one promising it.

We are all complex and do and say hurtful things to each other. Usually though, we are not driven by a need to control those around us. Most of us know how to apologize and adjust. Control-freaks will not do that or only superficially. 

We do not all struggle with mental illness challenges, but I’d like to think that followers of Christ will not be carriers. Control-freaks can eat away at one’s self-confidence and sense of wellbeing. 

Compassionate love among those of us who pray, does not seek to control but peacefully gives concerns to God and leaves them there. Compassionate love is humble, and accepts that only God knows what everyone else needs to do.  

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NOTE: I am not a doctor or mental health professional. I speak only from personal experiences with and observations of mental illness. In no way is this website intended to substitute for professional mental health care.

If you are struggling emotionally today or feeling suicidal, or concerned about someone who is, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Hope and help can be yours.

* pictures from Qualitystockphotos.com