Tag Archives: strong emotions

Is it Safe to Tell God You Are Angry… at Him?

Compassionate Love: Displaying Compassion for Those Who Struggle with Mental Illness or Abuse  (c)2019 Nancy Virden, Always The Fight Ministries

person in gray sweater cover face
Photo by Jhonis Martins on Pexels.com

What do you think? Is it ever okay to tell God you are angry at him?

If we are angry at God, does he not already know?

The Psalmist asked,  “Before a word is on my tongue, you Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Is there anything hidden from you?” (Psalm 139:4-5)

Hiding emotions from this all-knowing God is as foolish as Adam and Eve hiding in the bushes after they sinned in the Garden of Eden. 

Perhaps you wonder,  I must not talk to God just any ol’ way, right?  He is God, after all! 

Like everything else in God’s kingdom, reverence is a matter of the heart.

In Isaiah 29:13, The Lord says: “These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.”

In the opposite way, we can have strong emotions and still honor God. Openness and honesty with God is not about telling him off without any fear. Reverence is not about following religious order, either.

In Christ we are safe to be vulnerable, and glaringly human with him.

Jesus said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls” (Matthew 12: 28-29).

Someday you may cry for help in a loud voice, full of confusion. You may rage in fear or frustration. You may withdraw from God out of anger or shame. Perhaps you already have and wonder if you can be forgiven.

Jesus puts no limits on what we can tell him. If we do not come to him with our strong emotions such as anger, doubt, lack of faith, guilt and shame – how can he comfort and teach us or close the gap?

God knows what made my heart often fragile. He allowed those experiences that helped to create ruins in my mind. I could choose to blame him for not giving me a happy family, but He wasn’t passive.

He used injustice to shape in me a fighting spirit.
He used pain to teach me compassion.
He used loneliness to tune my ears to his voice.

Psalm 94:18-19 reads, “When I said, ‘my foot is slipping,’ your unfailing love, Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.”

What good will come of hiding? We will only lock ourselves away from knowing his love.

Today’s Helpful Word  

Hebrews 4:16 

Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

**** COMMENTS ALWAYS WELCOME

NOTE:  I am not a doctor or mental health professional. I speak only from personal experiences with and observations of mental and behavioral health challenges.  In no way is this website intended to substitute for professional mental or behavioral health care.

If you are feeling suicidal, or concerned about someone who is, in the U.S. call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255), or for a list of international suicide hotlines, go here.

If you are suicidal with a plan, immediately call 911 in the U.S. or go to your nearest emergency room. (for international emergency numbers, go here ). Hope and help are yours!

 

How to Overcome Heartbreak

Compassionate Love Blog: Displaying compassion for those who struggle with mental illness   (c)2016  Nancy Virden, Always the Fight Ministry

Heartbreak is soul-piercing. It’s as if one’s spirit is lingering in a place of unrest and pain. Other aspects of life become more difficult and overwhelming.

25493412 Overwhelming Depression

How I overcome it is by learning to refocus. Yes, there are losses. There are also many wins! I am in charge of my reactions – will I stare and stare at the woulda-couldas? Or will I recount the evidence that I have much for which to be grateful?

I am not talking about positive thinking! No, this is refocusing. The difference is that with refocusing there is no denial. Heartbreak happens, dreams are dashed, and there is great pain. It’s ok to feel that and choose to focus on something else at the same time.

  • I was once told by a therapist that it is okay to sit under the covers and feel miserable. It is normal and actually healthy to sit with a strong emotion, and ask questions of it (like what am I feeling and why).  
  • It is important when you are doing this to put a time limit on it. Make a plan. For example, determine to concentrate on your day’s work. Plan to hide under the covers for two hours when you get home. Then make sure you get up at the end of two hours. 
  • Avoid self-medicating. Ice cream, alcohol, drugs, fantasizing about revenge, feeding your bitterness – these hurt you. You do not need more suffering and will be better able to thrive if you do not engage with these forms of escape. Burying  feelings is tempting; consider healthier ways to cope.
  • Misery loves company, so go ahead and talk it out with friends. Aim to have one or two conversations per day where you do not mention your heartbreak.
  • Walk, run, do sit-ups – exercise helps our brains to gather its thoughts. It produces some of those feel-better chemicals, too.
  • Do a good deed. It will empower you to better enjoy your life’s purpose, and give you a different perspective.
  • Talk to God. Prayer is not complicated although religions have made it seem so. Just talk to Him. Tell Him of your sorrows and ask Him to show you the way. Learning to have a loving relationship with God through His Son, Jesus, means you never have to be alone again.

That is how I overcome heartbreak when it visits. I continue to use these strategies because let’s face it, life is full of struggles. 

You will be okay too!  Take care of yourself.

 ********

COMMENTS ARE ALWAYS WELCOME (see tab below)

NOTE: I am not a doctor or mental health professional. I speak only from personal experiences with and observations of mental illness. In no way is this website intended to substitute for professional mental health care.

If you are struggling emotionally today or feeling suicidal, or concerned about someone who is, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Hope and help is yours.

 

Sit , Emotion, Sit! Proverbs 3:16 Put to Practice

Compassionate Love: Displaying compassion for those who struggle with mental illness   (c)2015 Nancy Virden

I came home a few days ago angry. It was the quiet kind of angry that sneaks up on a person slowly. Or does it? More likely, I had managed to stuff it for a few minutes before it could not be denied anymore.  

My stomach roiled. Typical tension and pins and needles sensations were there, too. Most obnoxious were the thoughts – racing toward nothing and refusing to leave. Food, busyness, social media, online shopping, and television were some of my favorite escapes when strong emotions would not take a rest.

This time though, I exercised a new technique and sat with the anger. Literally, I sat down and asked God why I was so upset. Over a few minutes, an idea occurred. A friend had offered criticism while interrupting and talking over my explanation. There was good reason for annoyance, however was there truth in what she said? Anger was rising from my fear she may have been right.

Studying the situation more critically, I concluded her assessment of my motives was incorrect. Anger still agitated my stomach, and all the physically uncomfortable symptoms were active. Then the unimaginable happened.

I sat some more.

It felt horrible. I wanted to hide, to bury this struggle under something more pleasurable. Nevertheless I stayed, acknowledging God, the hurt, and discomfort.

Sure enough, it subsided. The whole exercise had taken about twenty minutes. In that amount of time I could have eaten that leftover beef roast or checked Twitter dozens of times, and felt and resolved nothing.

Taking the time to ask God for insight and ride out a strong emotion had actually made it go away. Annoyance disappeared as reason and forgiveness took over. Not relying on my limited understanding had led directly to peace.

Today’s Helpful Word

Proverbs 3:16

“In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.” 

*********

NOTE: I am not a doctor or mental health professional. I speak only from personal experiences with and observations of mental illness. In no way is this website intended to substitute for professional mental health care.

If you are struggling emotionally today or feeling suicidal, or concerned about someone who is, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Hope and help can be yours.